Confession

I was sitting in class today, and the idea of confession struck me. Not a mere concept, but the actual need for confession in my own life. Interestingly enough, I had read on the web earlier today of a church that has somesort of web-based confessional. This has apparently been widely utilized by a great many people. Perhaps that was the seed for my later thoughts.

In any event, I've been feeling somewhat distant from the Lord lately - someone say, guess who moved? - and I've just been feeling kind of empty, almost spiritually lethargic of late. Some of that may be tied to some stuff that I've had going on that I've been working through. However, I believe much of it to be a combination of demonic attack/spiritual warfare and my age old struggles with my own sinful nature (i.e., the sins of the flesh). Starting this new season of full time seminary studies is a prime time for the devil to afflict and inflict me with temptations and attacks. At the same time, I know myself well enough to know that at times of stress (yes, I feel a whee bit stressed these days), my own sinful nature asserts its own selfishness.

The need for confession is a generally a regular part of most main stream or Main Line Protestant orders of worship. It is a part of worship that prepares those worshiping to confess their sin(s) in order to receive pardon, and be reconciled with God and with one-another. Personally, I enjoy the prayer of confession from the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer. Please feel free to join me:

Most merciful God,we confess that we have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed,by what we have done,and by what we have left undone.We have not loved you with our whole heart;we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves.We are truly sorry and we humbly repent. For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ,have mercy on us and forgive us;that we may delight in your will,and walk in your ways,to the glory of your Name. Amen.

My hope is not that God would give me the will-power not to commit these sins anylonger, but rather that He would continue to transform me to be more like His Son, Jesus Christ. To be filled with the fruit of the Spirit is to be transformed into the very character of Christ Himself. This, too, is my prayer. I have sinned against the Lord in thought, word, and deed. I have sinned by what I have done, and by what I have left undone. I have not loved God with my whole heart, nor loved my neighbors as I love myself. I am truly sorry, and humbly repent. I believe that God's grace is so great that He will, for the sake of His own Son, Jesus, have mercy on me and forgive me. And I will delight in His will, and walk in His ways, to the glory of His name. Amen.

Do you need to confess to the Almighty God who created you and loves you?

a quick note from class

okay, class starts in less than ten minutes, but my esteemed professor hasn't arrived yet. So I'm sitting here, killing time, trying to figure out something significant, important, or just witty to write about, but the truth is that I don't really have anything to put down except this...

I'm excited about this class because of the professor. I've had Adelekan twice before for both Systematic Theology 1 & 2. He's sharp, insightful, and has quite the gift of encouragement. I'm hoping to learn more from this godly man, and hope that I will learn as much in here as I did in my last two classes with him.

In any event, this is my short note from class. Hope that wherever you are, whatever you're doing, you're doing well. God's best blessings to you!

Non-Laborious Day

Today was a most un-laborious labor day, spent just hanging out with my extended family for a regular get-together. Lots of eating - hamburgers, hotdogs, baked beans, several salads, chips, and key lime pie, ice cream of different flavors, and pound cake. We talked about school, vacations, as well as the mundane things that happened in each of our lives over this Summer. The kids played, running about here and there, playing kickball, throwing footballs, and even some short-lived swimming. And then it was over. And we came home.

Kind of a funny thing, calling it Labor Day. Meant to be a celebration for the labor movement, it has really come to mean an end to Summer vacation. And today is just that. It's a mere few hours of "freedom" left before the new school year begins for our family. Though Labor Day means taking a break, tomorrow will be the true start of labor.

Well, here's to the end of a most non-Laborious Day!

intro to U.S. Latin@ theologies

Met earlier this afternoon with my newest professor for an independent study on an introduction to U.S. Latina/o theologies. It's me and one other fellow meeting with the professora to be introduced to a variety of Latina and Latino theological voices. What it all entails, I'm not quite sure. But it's exposure to a new and different voice at the theological table, and that's important. One rather provincial person quizically noted to me, "why would you want to take that?" The answer is relatively simple: I want to be a theologian [actually we all are; most of us are just sloppily irresponsible about it], and a good theologian (I think) tries to see and/or listen to everyone who is seated at the table of the kingdom.

All that's to say that it's going to be a lot of work - the professora is no push over - but I think it will also be good and stimulating - she has a pleasant personality.

So, once more unto the breach...

the Mall and Depression

I just got back from a trip to a local mall. It just so happens my mom works at a store in said mall, so the main point of my venture was to take my three kinderin for lunch with their grandmother before school starts (school doesn't start in our area until after Labor Day). All that's to say that we went and had lunch at the mall. Since we were going to said mall, my wife asked me to take some time after lunch to go and look for nice back-to-school outfits for all three, plus a new pair of mocs for one of our kids.

All in all, mission accomplished; sort of. Was able to find a nice shirt and pants for the son. Wasn't able to find any outfits for the girls that we could agree on, but told them we'd find them something at another time. Was able to get both of them new sneakers/mocs, which they seemed pleased with.

Yet, as we left, I found myself feeling really down, feeling almost unsettled. As I drove home I realized that it was a strong sense of materialism that had been set off. And I didn't like it; it made me upset that I was feeling such a strong need to want to go out and buy clothes and stuff I totally didn't need. After getting home, I called my wife to let her know what we did and what we didn't get. I also relayed to her my feelings. She framed my feelings well. Her wisdom was this: "you've been subjected to 37 plus years of extreme marketing which has only been reinforced by a very materialistic mother. You're a red-blooded American living in a materialistic American culture."

I am in complete agreement with her. But I still feel down about the whole thing. Ultimately, these feelings speak to something deeper, something more organic to my very core. The feelings speak to that God-shaped hole in my heart that Augustine spoke about. My feelings today were so strong because I think that God-shaped hole has not been filled with God. The lack of contentment, I believe, comes from not spending enough time with the One who created me. With that relationship needing time and energy, it's caused an imbalance that the old, sinful man-me wants to try and fill with material.

Only God can fill that God-shaped hole. Only God can satisfy. Only the One who created each and every one of us knows what will ful-fill our souls - and the answer is...envelope please... God Himself!!! So rather than go and watch TV or spend much more time blogging/online/sending email, I'm going to go and excercise and spend time talking with God about that hole that needs to be filled by HIM who lasts forever.

How about you?