couldn't let this once in a four-year period of time pass by without wishing you all a very happy 'Leap Day'!
hope it's been special. Sarah and I took the kids out to the diner this morning for breakfast before dropping them off at school. we'll have a family night tonight and play board games (not that that has anything to do with it being a leap day, but I just thought I'd share).
wonder what the next leap day will be like? my oldest will be in high school! egad and gadzooks!!!
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
"Move Along", part 1
I recently purchased a new song on itunes, "Move Along" by The All-American Rejects. I don't know much about this group aside from three songs that were popular a couple of years ago. But I enjoyed this song a lot, and since I bought it and listened to it (I'm listening to it right now), I found some deep stuff embedded in the lyrics.
I want to share with you the theology that I find in the song. While it's not a "Christian" song (by the way, can a "song" be "Christian"?), I submit that there's a message from God in there. Consider these lyrics...
I'm going to do the proverbial post-modern move of interpreting for myself the meaning of this song - my apologies if I'm way off the original intentions of the song's writers.
I find the song to be filled with hope, and for me, as a follower of the living God who has been revealed in Jesus Christ, I find there's a message, a reminder, of hope in God's presence and strength. This is evidenced in the lyrics "When you fall everyone stands", and "Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong".
The first reference reminds me that I'm not alone - I am a part of a church, the Church - and that when I "fall", my church, my brother and sister Christians, are there to help me. Whether it be from sin (to restore my gently - hopefully!), or from grief (to bring comfort and help), I am not along, for when I fall "everyone" stands around me.
The second reference calls me to remember that I can, that I need to call out to God in prayer. "Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong" alludes to when I'm in the midst of struggles and suffering, God is waiting for me - patiently, I might add - to call out to Him. He doesn't want me to forget Him on the best of days, for He is the source of all good things. But He definitely doesn't want me to forget Him when things are wrong. When I've exhausted myself, emotionally and physically, God wants me to "speak to [Him]", even amidst the temptation "keep [is] strong".
These lyrics offer us a reminder that while we all have to rely on the Holy Spirit to reveal the Truth of God's Word, He will also reveal "truth" reminders to us even in some "secular" sources.
I want to share with you the theology that I find in the song. While it's not a "Christian" song (by the way, can a "song" be "Christian"?), I submit that there's a message from God in there. Consider these lyrics...
Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along Move along
I'm going to do the proverbial post-modern move of interpreting for myself the meaning of this song - my apologies if I'm way off the original intentions of the song's writers.
I find the song to be filled with hope, and for me, as a follower of the living God who has been revealed in Jesus Christ, I find there's a message, a reminder, of hope in God's presence and strength. This is evidenced in the lyrics "When you fall everyone stands", and "Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong".
The first reference reminds me that I'm not alone - I am a part of a church, the Church - and that when I "fall", my church, my brother and sister Christians, are there to help me. Whether it be from sin (to restore my gently - hopefully!), or from grief (to bring comfort and help), I am not along, for when I fall "everyone" stands around me.
The second reference calls me to remember that I can, that I need to call out to God in prayer. "Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong" alludes to when I'm in the midst of struggles and suffering, God is waiting for me - patiently, I might add - to call out to Him. He doesn't want me to forget Him on the best of days, for He is the source of all good things. But He definitely doesn't want me to forget Him when things are wrong. When I've exhausted myself, emotionally and physically, God wants me to "speak to [Him]", even amidst the temptation "keep [is] strong".
These lyrics offer us a reminder that while we all have to rely on the Holy Spirit to reveal the Truth of God's Word, He will also reveal "truth" reminders to us even in some "secular" sources.
Monday, February 25, 2008
heart check-ups
I'm in a self-reflective mood today. With my eldest daughter home sick today, I've been forced to be a 'servant'. "Forced" certainly gives you insight into my more unconscious feelings on the matter. I suppose I could have edited that sentence - cleaned it up - made it more "christian" sounding. But that would defeat the point; wouldn't it?
Maybe it's this season of transition I'm in, but I'm (seemingly) feeling more tempted to be self-focused. I'm feeling a need to focus on care of my self. I'm sure there's several bookcases worth of texts designed to make me feel good and guiltless about making sure I'm "happy" and "feeling" fulfilled. I neither need nor want what they have to peddle, however.
I don't really need to be "nurturing" my id, my ego, or my super-ego, for that matter. What I am in need of, however, is to check my heart at the door. I need a spiritual check-up. I need to repent of this 'All-American' ideal of getting to have my own way, of getting to be able to have the proverbial cake and eat it, too (though I do have a nice piece of cheesecake in the fridge!).
I need to check-in with my maker. The Maker. The One who created me, who knows the number of hairs on my head (even though that number seems to be changing daily!). I need to examine myself in light of, and in the light of, the Triune God of grace. My heart does not so often resemble the heart of God, as it is so often self-centered. I need to look at God and repent. I need to look at God, and look at who God calls me to be. I need to look at God, and embrace the transforming empowerment that God seeks to put to work within me.
It is too easy for me to dive into a book - something I will no doubt try to do shortly - rather than tackle chores, tasks, or things that just need to get done around the house. It's too easy to do what I want, rather than spend time being with or doing what my kids would like to do with me.
And yet, God is patient. And God is kind. I am reminded that God is not done with me yet. Because I would like to consider myself humble, I will not list some of the things I've done over this past week. Though in the end, they are nothing but filthy rags, should I seek to claim them as deductions from the LORD. The things I have done for others only have value before God as I do them out of love for others, not based on any level of satisfaction I get.
But this results in reading Scripture (more regularly), and finding (being led to find) opportunities to be like Jesus, to live like Jesus. But this is not merely a psychological treatment of Jesus as pure example. Rather, Jesus is who He calls us to be. And what's more, He makes that possible, through the presence and power of the Spirit of God, living, indwelling each individual believer, as well as in the greater corpus of the local church. We are without excuse.
God calls us to live lives that are radically oriented toward the Triune God, fleshed out through interactions with those inside and outside the church. We are to serve, not to seek out being servied. And all of this calls for regularly scheduled heart check-ups. We need to look into our hearts. We need to let the God who first called us to examine and reclaim us for His own service, a service to others, to the least of these. This is what's on my mind, and my heart, today.
But I have to go now. I need to clear out the dish washer, and load up the dirty dishes.
How about you? What's on your heart today?
Maybe it's this season of transition I'm in, but I'm (seemingly) feeling more tempted to be self-focused. I'm feeling a need to focus on care of my self. I'm sure there's several bookcases worth of texts designed to make me feel good and guiltless about making sure I'm "happy" and "feeling" fulfilled. I neither need nor want what they have to peddle, however.
I don't really need to be "nurturing" my id, my ego, or my super-ego, for that matter. What I am in need of, however, is to check my heart at the door. I need a spiritual check-up. I need to repent of this 'All-American' ideal of getting to have my own way, of getting to be able to have the proverbial cake and eat it, too (though I do have a nice piece of cheesecake in the fridge!).
I need to check-in with my maker. The Maker. The One who created me, who knows the number of hairs on my head (even though that number seems to be changing daily!). I need to examine myself in light of, and in the light of, the Triune God of grace. My heart does not so often resemble the heart of God, as it is so often self-centered. I need to look at God and repent. I need to look at God, and look at who God calls me to be. I need to look at God, and embrace the transforming empowerment that God seeks to put to work within me.
It is too easy for me to dive into a book - something I will no doubt try to do shortly - rather than tackle chores, tasks, or things that just need to get done around the house. It's too easy to do what I want, rather than spend time being with or doing what my kids would like to do with me.
And yet, God is patient. And God is kind. I am reminded that God is not done with me yet. Because I would like to consider myself humble, I will not list some of the things I've done over this past week. Though in the end, they are nothing but filthy rags, should I seek to claim them as deductions from the LORD. The things I have done for others only have value before God as I do them out of love for others, not based on any level of satisfaction I get.
But this results in reading Scripture (more regularly), and finding (being led to find) opportunities to be like Jesus, to live like Jesus. But this is not merely a psychological treatment of Jesus as pure example. Rather, Jesus is who He calls us to be. And what's more, He makes that possible, through the presence and power of the Spirit of God, living, indwelling each individual believer, as well as in the greater corpus of the local church. We are without excuse.
God calls us to live lives that are radically oriented toward the Triune God, fleshed out through interactions with those inside and outside the church. We are to serve, not to seek out being servied. And all of this calls for regularly scheduled heart check-ups. We need to look into our hearts. We need to let the God who first called us to examine and reclaim us for His own service, a service to others, to the least of these. This is what's on my mind, and my heart, today.
But I have to go now. I need to clear out the dish washer, and load up the dirty dishes.
How about you? What's on your heart today?
Friday, February 22, 2008
when your back is to the sea
This past Wednesday night, I was teaching as part of our church's weekly Lenten devotions. The main text was Exodus 13:17-14:14. The Israelites had just celebrated the first Passover, and were in the process of leaving Egypt. The LORD sends them on a particular path, avoiding Philistia, going down toward the Red Sea. Interestingly, the LORD tells Moses his reasoning is to turn Pharaoh's heart hard once more - that he will think the Israelites are confused, and will be drawn into pursuing them with plans to force them to return to enslavement. Then, God would show the Egyptians that He is the LORD.
The Israelites get to the shores of the Red Sea, and realize that Pharoah's army - 600 of his best chariots, and all the rest - are coming for them. What a site that must've been! Their reaction was a crying out against Moses - "were there no graves in Egypt that you brought us out here to die?"; "didn't we say to you leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians?" (vv. 14:11-12) - in spite of all that they had seen by the hand of the LORD. I brought this up to the folks in attendance. The Israelites had (seemingly) forgotten each of the ten plagues they had witnessed, and been protected from. They forgot that when they left Egypt, the LORD was with them, as a pillar of smoke by day, and a pillar of fire at night. In spite of these things, they panicked, and cried out against Moses.
But rather than tell them to shut up and have faith, Moses responded to their fears by pointing them back to the LORD and His plan for them - "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." (vv. 13-14). I purposely stopped there, because I wanted to juxtapose and compare our own perspectives (as 21st century Christians) with the people of Israel some thirty-five hundred years ago.
It is interesting that often, when we feel that our proverbial backs are to the sea, we tend to panic. We, like Israel, forget all that the LORD has done for us. We think, speak, and act as if the pressure has been on us the whole time. We give into our fears, and we forget not only about God, but who God is. There were four basic points I underscored:
1) God has a reason for leading us down the path He calls us to follow.
2) God's ways are not our ways.
3) God is sovereign - even when it doesn't look like it.
4) God calls us to be like Jesus.
The Lenten journey serves several purposes. It reminds us of and prepares us for the pain and suffering Jesus went through on His way to the Cross, and the true cost of our Easter celebration. Christians today (at least in the West) are too "me" focused. Too absorbed with living the life they want, or think they deserve. They forget that we have been bought at a price, and do not understand that we cannot truly appreciate, let alone live as Easter people without understanding the whole story.
It also reminds us that we are follow, and be like, our master, Jesus. Our Lord told his disciples that no servant is greater than his master (Jn. 13:16). If Jesus suffered on our account, should we not expect to suffer for Him? This is not necessarily a given; however, Christians in the West can afford to be more than dismissive of this point, and live in such a way that we are desensitized the pains and problems around us. We can rationalize suffering away as something that happens to people b/c of their bad choices. We can turn away from suffering by writing checks. And yet, Jesus was God incarnate. Emmanuel, God with us, was sent by the Father to show us the love of the Father, and to defeat sin and death so that we might become like Jesus. But we have to embrace and accept this calling. Many places in Scripture point to who Jesus is, but it is in the beatitudes that we discover that the way Jesus calls us to live (the beatitudes themselves), is who Jesus already is, and who Jesus is, is who He is calling us to be.
What is necessary for us to understand all of this, however, is that we cannot even understand, let alone live out this divine ideal without the Holy Spirit empowering, encouraging, and equipping us by speaking to us first through Holy Scripture, and secondly through the Church. We cannot truly appreciate the road to Golgotha, or to the empty garden tomb, let alone we cannot become like Jesus, all without the transforming power of the Spirit of the Living God. It is the Spirit who first opens our hearts and minds to receive the reality and truth of God as contained and communicated to us through the dramatic stories of Scripture. It is the Spirit of God who invites and empowers us to take our part and participate in the reality of the body of Christ, the Church. It is the reality of the Spirit in our lives, individually and personally, who transforms us from the inside out, beginning with the renewing of our minds, allowing us to become like Jesus Christ.
When your back is to the sea, do you react or respond? I was able to share with the folks gathered with me last Wednesday night, that I struggled with reacting in fear, rather than responding in faith. I know whom I have believed, whom I have trusted with all my life. And yet, too easily have I found myself fearful of what will happen if this happens or this doesn't happen. Do I trust God? Has not God shown Himself to be my protector, defender, provider on enough occasions? How many times does the LORD have to deliver me before I trust Him enough to not panic?
The journey takes us to all different places, and along the way, God shows His love for us by inviting us to walk the path with Him. How glorious this journey is. Through His Holy Spirit, through His Scriptures, through His people, God speaks, invites, and leads us, not for the purposes of our betterment (though that may be a result of that particular part), but to teach us faithfulness and obedience to Him that we might give Him all glory.
With this in mind, the next time I have my back to the sea, I want to trust God. I want to cry out to Him in faith. I want to give God the praise and the glory.
How about you?
The Israelites get to the shores of the Red Sea, and realize that Pharoah's army - 600 of his best chariots, and all the rest - are coming for them. What a site that must've been! Their reaction was a crying out against Moses - "were there no graves in Egypt that you brought us out here to die?"; "didn't we say to you leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians?" (vv. 14:11-12) - in spite of all that they had seen by the hand of the LORD. I brought this up to the folks in attendance. The Israelites had (seemingly) forgotten each of the ten plagues they had witnessed, and been protected from. They forgot that when they left Egypt, the LORD was with them, as a pillar of smoke by day, and a pillar of fire at night. In spite of these things, they panicked, and cried out against Moses.
But rather than tell them to shut up and have faith, Moses responded to their fears by pointing them back to the LORD and His plan for them - "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." (vv. 13-14). I purposely stopped there, because I wanted to juxtapose and compare our own perspectives (as 21st century Christians) with the people of Israel some thirty-five hundred years ago.
It is interesting that often, when we feel that our proverbial backs are to the sea, we tend to panic. We, like Israel, forget all that the LORD has done for us. We think, speak, and act as if the pressure has been on us the whole time. We give into our fears, and we forget not only about God, but who God is. There were four basic points I underscored:
1) God has a reason for leading us down the path He calls us to follow.
2) God's ways are not our ways.
3) God is sovereign - even when it doesn't look like it.
4) God calls us to be like Jesus.
The Lenten journey serves several purposes. It reminds us of and prepares us for the pain and suffering Jesus went through on His way to the Cross, and the true cost of our Easter celebration. Christians today (at least in the West) are too "me" focused. Too absorbed with living the life they want, or think they deserve. They forget that we have been bought at a price, and do not understand that we cannot truly appreciate, let alone live as Easter people without understanding the whole story.
It also reminds us that we are follow, and be like, our master, Jesus. Our Lord told his disciples that no servant is greater than his master (Jn. 13:16). If Jesus suffered on our account, should we not expect to suffer for Him? This is not necessarily a given; however, Christians in the West can afford to be more than dismissive of this point, and live in such a way that we are desensitized the pains and problems around us. We can rationalize suffering away as something that happens to people b/c of their bad choices. We can turn away from suffering by writing checks. And yet, Jesus was God incarnate. Emmanuel, God with us, was sent by the Father to show us the love of the Father, and to defeat sin and death so that we might become like Jesus. But we have to embrace and accept this calling. Many places in Scripture point to who Jesus is, but it is in the beatitudes that we discover that the way Jesus calls us to live (the beatitudes themselves), is who Jesus already is, and who Jesus is, is who He is calling us to be.
What is necessary for us to understand all of this, however, is that we cannot even understand, let alone live out this divine ideal without the Holy Spirit empowering, encouraging, and equipping us by speaking to us first through Holy Scripture, and secondly through the Church. We cannot truly appreciate the road to Golgotha, or to the empty garden tomb, let alone we cannot become like Jesus, all without the transforming power of the Spirit of the Living God. It is the Spirit who first opens our hearts and minds to receive the reality and truth of God as contained and communicated to us through the dramatic stories of Scripture. It is the Spirit of God who invites and empowers us to take our part and participate in the reality of the body of Christ, the Church. It is the reality of the Spirit in our lives, individually and personally, who transforms us from the inside out, beginning with the renewing of our minds, allowing us to become like Jesus Christ.
When your back is to the sea, do you react or respond? I was able to share with the folks gathered with me last Wednesday night, that I struggled with reacting in fear, rather than responding in faith. I know whom I have believed, whom I have trusted with all my life. And yet, too easily have I found myself fearful of what will happen if this happens or this doesn't happen. Do I trust God? Has not God shown Himself to be my protector, defender, provider on enough occasions? How many times does the LORD have to deliver me before I trust Him enough to not panic?
The journey takes us to all different places, and along the way, God shows His love for us by inviting us to walk the path with Him. How glorious this journey is. Through His Holy Spirit, through His Scriptures, through His people, God speaks, invites, and leads us, not for the purposes of our betterment (though that may be a result of that particular part), but to teach us faithfulness and obedience to Him that we might give Him all glory.
With this in mind, the next time I have my back to the sea, I want to trust God. I want to cry out to Him in faith. I want to give God the praise and the glory.
How about you?
Monday, February 18, 2008
believing God is as good as He says He is
Psalm 34:8 says, "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the [person] who takes refuge in Him." This verse shows up about a third of the way into the psalm. It follows after verses that talk about extoling and praising the LORD, boasting and glorifying Him, and about calling out to Him, and being saved from all of one's troubles. It is followed by poetic promises: if we fear Him, we will lack nothing; that those who seek after the LORD will lack no good thing; and that the eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, and that His ears are attentive to their cry.
But do you really believe God is as good as He says He is? I believe this, and I struggle to believe this. In all honesty, I have always struggled to believe it deep down. I believe it with my head, but struggle to always believe it in my heart. But this is more complicated. You see, its about fear - fear of the LORD. Not because I fear Him not loving me. No. I fear God because I know that while He loves me, my life is only worth His glory. That is, if it be to His glory, He will allow me to die.
I say this not to disdain the LORD. But instead, I think this is the key to trusting in the goodness of the LORD. You see, only a good God can both love me and allow my life to be to His glory. God's glory is wrapped up in His goodness. His goodness is something of a by-product, if you will, of His love for His creation, for us, for me. His goodness permeates everything that defines our relationship. And it is ultimately demonstrated in Jesus' death on the cross, and underscored by His resurrection. In being baptized in the name of the Triune God, we are invited to partcipate and share in goodness of the LORD.
While the psalmist could never have imagined it, for Christians, everytime we receive the Eucharist, we are tasting and seeing that the LORD is good. Through the sacraments, we are brought into God's goodness, and that goodness is reinforced in our hearts and minds through the word-act and deed-act that are demonstrated for us in the proclamation of the Word of God in both the preaching from the Scriptures and the celebration of the Lord's Supper.
Yes, I still struggle with believing God is as good as He says He is. But it's not because of anything He's done, so much as my need to remember the words and deeds of the LORD; to remember that even if my suffering or death is what will bring Him glory, I will taste and see that the LORD is good when I join Him in glory. When we live within and as part of the body of Christ, the community of faith that is the local Church, we may experience this goodness through the kindnesses and love of other believers. We stand together, we live life together, in part, to remind one another and encourage one another that God is as good as He says He is.
In the end, we can only believe that God is good if we step out in faith; only in "tasting" and "seeing" for ourselves. We must believe, because having faith demands that we do so. The reward is that we find out, even in the midst of troubling and distressing experiences and events, that God is good, and His love endures forever. Amen and amen.
What do you think? Let me know.
But do you really believe God is as good as He says He is? I believe this, and I struggle to believe this. In all honesty, I have always struggled to believe it deep down. I believe it with my head, but struggle to always believe it in my heart. But this is more complicated. You see, its about fear - fear of the LORD. Not because I fear Him not loving me. No. I fear God because I know that while He loves me, my life is only worth His glory. That is, if it be to His glory, He will allow me to die.
I say this not to disdain the LORD. But instead, I think this is the key to trusting in the goodness of the LORD. You see, only a good God can both love me and allow my life to be to His glory. God's glory is wrapped up in His goodness. His goodness is something of a by-product, if you will, of His love for His creation, for us, for me. His goodness permeates everything that defines our relationship. And it is ultimately demonstrated in Jesus' death on the cross, and underscored by His resurrection. In being baptized in the name of the Triune God, we are invited to partcipate and share in goodness of the LORD.
While the psalmist could never have imagined it, for Christians, everytime we receive the Eucharist, we are tasting and seeing that the LORD is good. Through the sacraments, we are brought into God's goodness, and that goodness is reinforced in our hearts and minds through the word-act and deed-act that are demonstrated for us in the proclamation of the Word of God in both the preaching from the Scriptures and the celebration of the Lord's Supper.
Yes, I still struggle with believing God is as good as He says He is. But it's not because of anything He's done, so much as my need to remember the words and deeds of the LORD; to remember that even if my suffering or death is what will bring Him glory, I will taste and see that the LORD is good when I join Him in glory. When we live within and as part of the body of Christ, the community of faith that is the local Church, we may experience this goodness through the kindnesses and love of other believers. We stand together, we live life together, in part, to remind one another and encourage one another that God is as good as He says He is.
In the end, we can only believe that God is good if we step out in faith; only in "tasting" and "seeing" for ourselves. We must believe, because having faith demands that we do so. The reward is that we find out, even in the midst of troubling and distressing experiences and events, that God is good, and His love endures forever. Amen and amen.
What do you think? Let me know.
Friday, February 15, 2008
The Waiting is the Hardest Part
It's a cold day in February, and I'm in the final stages of sending the hard copies of papers and paperwork off to Durham U. in the UK to complete my application for Ph.D. studies in Systematic Theology there. I'm waiting for a couple of references, as well as printing out two papers to send along as well.
The challenge is the 'wait'. I am not a good wait-er. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit (appropriately enough, the King James Version calls it 'long-suffering'). Sometimes I wonder how I can be saved and still be so impatient. But I comfort myself remembering that my salvation is by God's grace so that I may not boast.
But that doesn't change the fact that I am waiting. I applied to Trinity Evangelical Divinity School back in January. I'll hear a decision on that one sometime in March. I'm feeling nervous about that one. Did I mention I also struggle with fear, too? How badly is my salvation in danger from that, I wonder? I have a hard time trusting God with the details of my life. No problem when it comes to the lives of others. But my own? Hmmmm. I'm still working my faith out with much fear and trembling. Again, I remember that my salvation is in God's hands, and that nothing can separate me from the love of God for me in Jesus Christ.
I need to get my post off to Durham before the end of the month. The I have to wait until early April (I think it's early, but it may be mid). And there, I have to wait as well. Wait. Wait. Wait. My worst insecurities whisper of my future defeats and disappointments. They want to convince me, before I've even received a rejection notice, that I'm not going to be accepted. Fortunately, God knew what he was doing when he brought me into marriage with Sarah. Her genuinely faithful and faith-filled optimism and trust-laden words encourage me, pretty much daily, to trust in God's sovereignty. And I wonder if I'm good enough. And she tells me God makes me good. and smart. and faithful and faith-filled.
In the meantime, I'm teaching at church on Wednesday nights. Organizing and teaching (most weeks) our Lenten devotions. This past week was our first gathering since Ash Wednesday. The weather was crappy most of the day, and so our turn out was a bit lower than expected (though it was nice to see the fifteen people that showed up!). But God is good, and the presence of His Holy Spirit was thick and powerful. When I preach and/or teach, I feel God's presence like no other way. When I'm up front proclaiming Christ, preaching or teaching, I feel God's pleasure (to paraphrase Eric Liddell). What I've taught are always things that I need to hear and/or remember for myself and my own faith walk. God is so good.
This week reminded me that Jesus' wilderness experience came after He was baptized. And that through that whole experience, even while He was cut-off from other people, He was not alone, for the Spirit was in and with Him. My baptism serves as both a reminder of who I am, and a means by which to overcome temptation and evil around me. I am not alone. I am not my own. Baptism helps me remember who I am, and whose I am. It serves as the conduit through which I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
Through Christ, I can wait to hear from Trinity or from Durham. Through Christ, I can receive and accept notices of acceptance, or rejection. Through Christ, waiting may just be the hardest part.
How about you? What do you think?
The challenge is the 'wait'. I am not a good wait-er. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit (appropriately enough, the King James Version calls it 'long-suffering'). Sometimes I wonder how I can be saved and still be so impatient. But I comfort myself remembering that my salvation is by God's grace so that I may not boast.
But that doesn't change the fact that I am waiting. I applied to Trinity Evangelical Divinity School back in January. I'll hear a decision on that one sometime in March. I'm feeling nervous about that one. Did I mention I also struggle with fear, too? How badly is my salvation in danger from that, I wonder? I have a hard time trusting God with the details of my life. No problem when it comes to the lives of others. But my own? Hmmmm. I'm still working my faith out with much fear and trembling. Again, I remember that my salvation is in God's hands, and that nothing can separate me from the love of God for me in Jesus Christ.
I need to get my post off to Durham before the end of the month. The I have to wait until early April (I think it's early, but it may be mid). And there, I have to wait as well. Wait. Wait. Wait. My worst insecurities whisper of my future defeats and disappointments. They want to convince me, before I've even received a rejection notice, that I'm not going to be accepted. Fortunately, God knew what he was doing when he brought me into marriage with Sarah. Her genuinely faithful and faith-filled optimism and trust-laden words encourage me, pretty much daily, to trust in God's sovereignty. And I wonder if I'm good enough. And she tells me God makes me good. and smart. and faithful and faith-filled.
In the meantime, I'm teaching at church on Wednesday nights. Organizing and teaching (most weeks) our Lenten devotions. This past week was our first gathering since Ash Wednesday. The weather was crappy most of the day, and so our turn out was a bit lower than expected (though it was nice to see the fifteen people that showed up!). But God is good, and the presence of His Holy Spirit was thick and powerful. When I preach and/or teach, I feel God's presence like no other way. When I'm up front proclaiming Christ, preaching or teaching, I feel God's pleasure (to paraphrase Eric Liddell). What I've taught are always things that I need to hear and/or remember for myself and my own faith walk. God is so good.
This week reminded me that Jesus' wilderness experience came after He was baptized. And that through that whole experience, even while He was cut-off from other people, He was not alone, for the Spirit was in and with Him. My baptism serves as both a reminder of who I am, and a means by which to overcome temptation and evil around me. I am not alone. I am not my own. Baptism helps me remember who I am, and whose I am. It serves as the conduit through which I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
Through Christ, I can wait to hear from Trinity or from Durham. Through Christ, I can receive and accept notices of acceptance, or rejection. Through Christ, waiting may just be the hardest part.
How about you? What do you think?
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