Ch-ch-changes

This Summer has brought about some pretty extensive and impacting changes in my life – almost as big as when I first became a dad for the first time (and the second and the third, for that matter). That David Bowie song seems to be my new theme. Today, August 1st, marked an end and a beginning, as I began my new life apart from working in and for the church. I am no longer David Feiser, youth pastor, director of NPC’s ministry to youth and their families. But I am still David Feiser, husband, dad, follower of Christ, friend, son, brother, cousin, uncle, and witty person (okay, that last one may be up for debate).

I’ve had some mixed feelings about this change. It was almost two months ago that I was encouraged to take this step and follow what many of us considered to be the Lord’s leading (though we weren’t in agreement on His timing). I’ve both looked forward to today, and also dreaded it. What I’ve discovered is that there’s no “right” way to feel about it. Many of my students weren’t happy with the news, and were savvy enough to know that there was more to the story than just what they were told. But they were good sports, very supportive, and I hope they will continue to grow in their faith and not abandon Christ because of self-righteous folk who chose to operate behind the scenes (what does 1 John have to say about people who like darkness? – what???).

So this day came, and here I am, reclining on my living room sofa, my headphones linked to my lap top, listening to the Narnia movie soundtrack, punching out this blog entry, contemplating what God has in store for me. Here’s what I understand (or at least think I do): I’ve got the entire month of August as something of a paid vacation; I’m going to be a full-time student, starting in September; God is leading me and my family on this new road that is part of our journey of faith.

While I’m sad about leaving youth ministry, I’m excited about this new opportunity. I’m excited about what is out there. I’m imagining that there are many more changes coming. I’m not sure I want to know about some of them. I’m hoping that most of them are good, positive, and healthy for all of my family. I’m hoping that my faith in Jesus Christ will meet each of them, good or bad, and be able to use them all to grow me closer to God and closer to the image of Jesus. I’m hoping that through this change – all the changes – that I will become more faithful and faith-filled, trusting God with more and more of my life and family. This being the first day of the rest of my life, I’m not sure what to make of it. The only thing that has changed is my employment. I’m still a Christian. I still have the same friends at church, in my neighborhood, from my social circles, and my family, both immediate and extended. I’m still about 25 lb.s over-weight, a bit out of shape, but ruggedly handsome.

Someone once said, “the more things change, the more they stay the same.” I don’t know how true that is, but overall, as I move into full-time student-hood, most of my life is still the same. My future is as open-ended as ever, I just feel it a bit more acutely than I did a couple of months ago. God is still watching over me, walking with me, and leading me. I am in awe, for in spite of such changes, God is with, unchanging, and I am at peace.