what makes serving so hard?

it's been a question of mine for years. it's not like I'm trying to point a finger at any one person; the Lord knows it could easily point back at me. but I'm just wondering why, even as saved and being saved people, redeemed and being redeemed, filled with the Holy Spirit, we, you and me, more often than not, struggle with the idea of serving? one thing I don't believe is something someone once said, or at least I thought I heard, "it's not serving if you enjoy doing it." I don't believe that. at the same time, I don't think whether you enjoy "it" (whatever "it" is) or not matters as to whether or not you do it or not. but why do we find it so hard to serve? it's not like I really enjoyed emptying the sink of dessert plates, utensils, and coffee mugs last night after our small group left our house. but it's not like I felt like I was dying because of it either. I did it because, a) [as my wife often says] it was there and needed to be done, and, b) I didn't want my wife to think I was leaving it there for her to clear out. yet I have to say, my natural inclination is not to serve. maybe I'm way off. maybe this is just my issue. maybe this is the area of the "old" man in me that is awaiting and undergoing sanctification and transformation. I don't know. I just find that sometimes I don't want to serve. what about you? what do you think?

life just happens

there's a part of me that wakes up every day and wonders, "how did I get here?" it's like I'm this person who finds themself in an alternate reality. you see, I'm married to this great woman, we live in a nice house, and we have three good, beautiful kids. and I wonder, "what's up with this?" I look at my three kids (yes, that's them in the pic), and I think, "hey, I'm too young to have kids." but then I realize that I'm not the young kid myself anymore. when did that happen? when did I grow up? the reality is far more strange than the (you might think strange) ponderings in my mind: simply that life happens. you see, while I'm still not sure how I got here, or what's up with this, I do know that behind it all, and actually infront of it and beside it, too, for that matter, is God. and His grace has been and is at work in my life. what a comfort. what an awesome truth. no matter what else is going on; no matter how terrible things get, God is there. you see, one thing I realized a long time ago, is that I never did anything to deserve all the "good", all the "cool", or all the "wonderful" that God has either given me directly, or just allowed me to be blessed with. and that's a comfort, too. there's nothing I have to do to get God's blessings. life is just like that. or more importantly, God is just like that.

discipleship recovery

how are we supposed to live as a community of disciples when most of the people in the community only seem to be feigning disicpleship?

what pain are they hiding (or hiding from) that they won't give all of who they are?

how can we move forward together, to be the Church that Jesus talks about in John's upper room discourse?

how can we speak into each other's lives prophetically and not be judgmental?

how do we recover discipleship in our day and age?