the surprises of God

I've had the most amazing week of my life, I think. It has been a roller coaster ride of sorts that has taken me from the pits of despair to a summit of peace. And I've probably dipped down and risen back up a few times, too.

This Sunday my congregation is celebrating the completion of my tenth year as youth director by calling me forward at both our Sunday worship gatherings (we label them "services"), and praising God for all that He's done through me. Then my pastor is going to announce that our Session (what we call our board of elders) has discerned and affirmed a call for me to transition out of the youth ministry and into full-time studies at seminary - I've been going part-time for the last four years - so that I may go onto pursue a PhD, and move into a full-time teaching ministry. To say I'm feeling bowled over is an understatement.

The process by which this decision was arrived at excluded me and my wife. The timing in which it was presented and set was not our own. I list these things first not because I have a chip on my shoulder, but because I want to speak honestly. While I believe in the elder's authority to come together and receive such leading from the Holy Spirit, I think there are other factors at work that could be described as well-intentioned people making some faulty assumptions and presumptions as to what is or isn't best for all parties. That, coupled with a rushed process, casts a least a slight palor over what in the end is a glorious changing of the guard.

Because while I'm disappointed with the process and timing, my wife and I are excited and celebrating this news. For one thing, it confirms what she and I have been talking about on and off for the last few years, and in depth over the last few months. We have the peace of God which transcends all understanding. To say I'm surprised is another understatement. Up until a week or so ago, I thought (was hoping) I would be involved at the youth ministry here for at least another year, maybe two or three. I felt like there were still a number of things for me to work on, do, and share with students, families, and fellow youth workers alike.

Yet God knows, doesn't He? Even though (in my opinion) there are some flaws to how this came about, God's perfect plan is being worked out through imperfect human beings, of whom I am one. I hope that anyone reading this will understand how thankful I am to God, and to the men and women who comprise the board of elders of our church. It took a lot of courage for them to strongly, and prayerfully, to consider something so incredible that it actually holds a lot of excitement for a great many of us.

If any of my students read this, please do not take anything that is written as any sort of rejection. Just the opposite. I've valued my last ten years of ministry at this church. My time spent with my students is among the most cherished of possessions. I love my students. To friends who might be reading this, please pray for us. There are a number of things that have to happen. And some of them need to happen soon. But we've seen God move quickly here, and I beleive He will not disappoint us by providing what we need to make this vision a reality.

I thank God for my last ten years in ministry to youth and their families. I praise God for this next opportunity to serve Him and His people. Praise God!!!

a poem for my wife on our 12th anniversary

12 years



Nothing rhymes with 12 years,
Nothing I know of, at least
So I’m trying to think of 12 years,
What has been the best?

As I keep thinking of 12 years,
A number of things come to mind
12 years, 12 years, 12 years,
It’s not that hard to find

One thing over 12 years,
We’ve had a kid or two, or three
Another thing over 12 years,
I’ve done all my moving with thee

A third thing over 12 years,
I’ve learned to smile more
A fourth thing over 12 years,
I really do snore

The fifth thing over 12 years,
We’ve joined two churches
A sixth thing over 12 years,
We’ve lived in four perches

A seventh thing over 12 years,
We’re still learning how to dance
The eighth thing over 12 years,
We’re still learning how to dance

The ninth thing over 12 years,
I like the way you cook,
The tenth thing over 12 years,
We’ve visited places in books

An eleventh thing over 12 years,
I’m gladder I married you,
And twelfth thing over 12 years,
I love you (more than giant, hurtling asteroids that are bigger than all the snickers bars ever consumed, and oceans of milk to make them go down easier, and the band-aids needed if those giant, hurtling asteroids hit earth, and bigger than any blisters we’d get trying to run away from both asteroids hitting earth and all those snickers bars that would probably topple down because of the laws of physics, being gravity, I’m talking about, of course, so my point is that I love you lots and lots and lots and lots and lots…etc. but do not add nausea

being a Disciple means becoming like your Rabbi

I love God-cidences. You know, those situations that come up where something happens followed closely by something else that seems to confirm the first experience? Most people refer to them as coincidences. Because I believe in a sovereign God, one who can exhert His authority to accomplish His will regardless of how blind, deaf, or dumb we are, I believe that I've experienced a God-cidence just this morning.

Via a reply to an earlier post (what is a "disciple"? - posted Friday, October 28, 2005) by a distant friend, Forrest Malloch, I was confronted and encouraged by God. You see, in his reply to the post, Forrest pointed me to a web site that had a recording of Ray Vanderlaan's "On This Rock". This was taken from Ray's video series, "That The World May Know". Ray is a high school teacher in the States, and pretty good Bible scholar. His video series are about His leading tours to the Holy Land, whereby he teaches a mixed (age, gender, ethnicity) audience about Bible stories as close to the authentic site as is possible. Okay, I've set the stage for my God-cidence. Forrest posted an invitation to go this web site, down load this message from Ray, and see what it says about radical discipleship from Ray's message, "On This Rock".

Forrest! What you could not have known when you posted this Wednesday late afternoon, was that Thursday late morning, as part of my Greek Exegesis class, we watched the video that this audio message is connected with. The main crux of the video has Ray speaking to his tour group on a hill side outside of a New Testament era city, Caesarea Phillipi, where there was a pagan religious site dedicated to the Greco-Roman demi-god, Pan, and talks about what being a disciple is based on the message out of the Gospel of Matthew, Matthew 16:13ff. This context was used by Ray to teach on the understanding of being a disciple in the N.T. era Jewish Rabbi/Disicple context. Basically, the idea is that discipleship is not about what you do. More importantly, being a disciple is about wanting to be what your Rabbi is.

The audio message I downloaded and listened to was connected with this video. It was refreshing to listen to this message after seeing the video. It went into a lot of detail, and was very engaging. The bottom line for me, to boil it down, is to say that for us as Christians, we want to be like our Rabbi, Jesus Christ. As Forrest pointed out to me, this has radical implications on little as well as big ways. Are you a Christian? Then you must be a disciple. Are you a disciple? Then you must be seeking to be like Jesus. Are you becoming like Jesus? If not, why not? Who are you being like, if not like Jesus?

Are you becoming like Jesus? This is what being a disciple is about. What are the implications?

what makes serving so hard?

it's been a question of mine for years. it's not like I'm trying to point a finger at any one person; the Lord knows it could easily point back at me. but I'm just wondering why, even as saved and being saved people, redeemed and being redeemed, filled with the Holy Spirit, we, you and me, more often than not, struggle with the idea of serving? one thing I don't believe is something someone once said, or at least I thought I heard, "it's not serving if you enjoy doing it." I don't believe that. at the same time, I don't think whether you enjoy "it" (whatever "it" is) or not matters as to whether or not you do it or not. but why do we find it so hard to serve? it's not like I really enjoyed emptying the sink of dessert plates, utensils, and coffee mugs last night after our small group left our house. but it's not like I felt like I was dying because of it either. I did it because, a) [as my wife often says] it was there and needed to be done, and, b) I didn't want my wife to think I was leaving it there for her to clear out. yet I have to say, my natural inclination is not to serve. maybe I'm way off. maybe this is just my issue. maybe this is the area of the "old" man in me that is awaiting and undergoing sanctification and transformation. I don't know. I just find that sometimes I don't want to serve. what about you? what do you think?

life just happens

there's a part of me that wakes up every day and wonders, "how did I get here?" it's like I'm this person who finds themself in an alternate reality. you see, I'm married to this great woman, we live in a nice house, and we have three good, beautiful kids. and I wonder, "what's up with this?" I look at my three kids (yes, that's them in the pic), and I think, "hey, I'm too young to have kids." but then I realize that I'm not the young kid myself anymore. when did that happen? when did I grow up? the reality is far more strange than the (you might think strange) ponderings in my mind: simply that life happens. you see, while I'm still not sure how I got here, or what's up with this, I do know that behind it all, and actually infront of it and beside it, too, for that matter, is God. and His grace has been and is at work in my life. what a comfort. what an awesome truth. no matter what else is going on; no matter how terrible things get, God is there. you see, one thing I realized a long time ago, is that I never did anything to deserve all the "good", all the "cool", or all the "wonderful" that God has either given me directly, or just allowed me to be blessed with. and that's a comfort, too. there's nothing I have to do to get God's blessings. life is just like that. or more importantly, God is just like that.